Forced to find a different fit: Cruel optimism, the academic precariat, and third space hybrid identities

This chapter traces the path of becoming a researcher developer in the Australian university system. A reflective narrative is used to explore how this academic misfit with a portfolio career has gradually made sense of her unconventional academic journey by understanding the intersection of personal choices and broader historical movements in a changing university landscape. An outsider status has gradually been confirmed through the passage of leaving academia and dropping the “Dr” title with a sense of being a failed academic, and later returning to the academy in a new role. The narrative seeks a language to articulate the identity of this “misfit,” as well as its value within the academy, using helpful labels that might be useful to others in similar roles trying to understand their position and its affordances.