Rethinking Men’s Grief: A Case Study of Bereaved Fathers’ Involvement in Lactation and Human Milk Donation After Infant Loss

The death of an infant is devastating and life changing, eliciting profound grief for parents. Many mothers of stillborn infants and infants who die in the first days, weeks and months of life are faced with the complex task of managing the initial onset of breastmilk production or continuation of established lactation. In this case-study, we conducted focus groups with health professionals and interviews with grieving fathers to explore fathers’ awareness of and involvement in their partners’ lactation after infant death. We found that after the loss of a child fathers are often characterised as ‘supporters’. What was seen as ‘support’, however, was more akin to ‘care’, being evidenced by emotional expression and emotional interdependence. This vital attention to, and emphasis on men’s caring, allows a greater appreciation of the emotions present in men’s grief, including how care for others, particularly partners, allow men to express themselves emotionally after loss.